


Unbelievably Blind

by Ombre (reddishDaisy_95)



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, angst I guess?, taehyun thinks too much, yeonjun is just equally dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddishDaisy_95/pseuds/Ombre
Summary: Sometimes Taehyun wonders what it's like to be free.But only if he hasn’t been so unbelievably blind about it all, then he’d have seen it that his freedom is just there, staring at him too deeply, waiting for him to stretch out his hand at him for too long already.





	Unbelievably Blind

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happened when im feeling particularly melancholic and missing taejun. sigh.

Sometimes Taehyun wonders what it's like to be free.

 

Sometimes, he will stare at Yeonjun for far too long. It's nothing new, nothing terribly strange because they've been best friends for seven years and still Taehyun finds things about Yeonjun that he has never known before. New callouses on his fingertips from practicing too much on his guitar, bruises from fooling around during gym period. A mole growing on his bicep. Sharper angles of his jaw, a few more inches on him, a firmer chest.

 

Sometimes it strikes him in the oddest ways. This Yeonjun...this Yeonjun isn't entirely the boy he grew up with, not anymore. Yeonjun smiles and recounts stories about his field trips to the city and Taehyun peers at him, almost as though he's picking out what has changed. The plane of his nose, perhaps? His voice?

 

It hurts. All of those...all of those aren't Taehyun's to keep anymore.

 

 

 

(Like when he was sixteen, back then.

 

Taehyun was sixteen, eyes a kaleidoscope of the new world and heart on his sleeves. His first day in high school wasn't as momentous as everybody made it seem to be. Taehyun remembered eating lunch alone on the rooftop when a magenta-haired boy stumbled out of the door.

 

Taehyun dropped his sandwich.

 

The boy stared at him before he ducked to the side and put a finger on his lips.

 

Taehyun remained frozen and jolted when the door opened again, colliding against the wall with a resounding noise. There were a few other boys—Taehyun didn’t remember the exact number anymore—panting and looking around. Someone mumbled, _I thought he headed this way,_ before the group retreated with collective grunts.

 

Once the echo of their footsteps down the staircase subsided, Taehyun blinked at the boy who'd been running. It was the first time that he'd had a good look on him—from his place, the boy didn't look as brash as Taehyun thought he was. The boy exhaled and stood up, dusting off the dirt on his pants.

 

He crouched in front of him, face breaking into a Cheshire grin.

 

(Taehyun has always thought he has a nice smile. Such thought still doesn’t change, even for now.)

 

"Thanks for saving me," the boy said, high-pitched tone startling Taehyun. He was a genuine surprise, personified.

 

"I didn't do anything," Taehyun managed to stammer out. His lunch lay cold and forgotten on the floor.

 

The boy laughed and took Taehyun's hand before the latter could protest. "I'm Yeonjun. Nice to meet you!"

 

"I," Taehyun tried the word, "I'm Taehyun. Kang Taehyun." 

 

Yeonjun tilted his head and beamed at him.

 

"You have beautiful eyes," he said.

 

Back then, he admitted to no one why Yeonjun's words meant so much to him.

 

Instead, he kept them like a treasure, locked away in the deepest part of his heart, in the cellar of his thoughts.

 

His compliment was Taehyun’s.)

 

 

 

(Taehyun was sixteen and he decided that maybe it wasn’t too bad, tagging along with Yeonjun on bicycle rides that inevitably culminated with a scraped knee or two. Yeonjun talked about his father all the time, about the mountains in his hometown, and it was with such fervour that Taehyun can't believe this much of a life in the universe had been hiding in an eighteen-year old boy.

 

Taehyun was sixteen and he found his voice. He discovered that he can be loud, that he can smile. Yeonjun, again, was the teacher between the two of them. It came off as a surprise, knowing that Yeonjun can actually fit a lot of things in that head of his.

 

Taehyun was sixteen and he can't help but look at Yeonjun's lips. They were just there, stretching and curving up his cheeks when he beamed, and it troubled him when he wondered how a pair of lips can look that attractive, how those lips might feel pressed against his.

 

All at once it wasn’t just his lips, anymore—it was Yeonjun, hand on his wrist as he pulled Taehyun into a run; Yeonjun, who came over on the weekends and brought leftover, low-grade convenience store pizza from his part time job because Taehyun had been complaining about failing Physics so _why can’t you just come and tutor me, Yeonjun-ah?!_

 

_“It’s Yeonjun hyung, you brat! Now that last pizza slice is mine!”_

 

Taehyun was sixteen and too naïve to realize that nothing lasted forever, including all that he and Yeonjun had, back then.)

 

 

 

Now, they only ever see each other during college break, when Yeonjun comes over to his house (to him) and brings back pieces of a life where Taehyun's not there with him. He picks off the crumbs on his mouth while he listens. It's developed into a habit since then.

 

“—Taehyunnie, hey, are you even listening," Yeonjun says, meeting his eyes so ferociously that Taehyun has to swallow. He has never been caught before. "Why are you just staring at me, do I have something on my face? Am I just too handsome?"

 

Taehyun shakes his head, heat creeping up his neck. "I'm listening. Don't be so full of yourself, you rascal."

 

Yeonjun stares at him for numerous counts before he's talking again. Taehyun misses the _words_ because he's drowned in it again—the self-pity, the feeling of choking, the feeling of wanting to be free, of wishing he could tell Yeonjun he's handsome, he's so beautiful and tell him to stay a little longer and tell him that he misses him, so much—and he doesn't know when it has changed but he loves him in a _different_ way now.

 

 

 

(Oh, if only he'd been truly listening—he would've heard Yeonjun say, _I missed you so much, Taehyunnie— I always wish you were there in the city with me._

_No one, no one there is like you._

_I wasn't lying when I told you that your eyes were beautiful. They still are._ )

 

 

 

Sometimes Taehyun wonders what it's like to be free.

 

But only if he hasn’t been so unbelievably blind about it all, then he’d have seen it that his freedom is just there, staring at him too deeply, waiting for him to stretch out his hand at him for too long already.

 

None of them know it, but if he stops wondering and starts opening up about his feelings, then maybe that freedom, that urge, that feeling (that love) isn’t something too far-fetched for a pair of best friends like them.

**Author's Note:**

> it's open ending cuz i wanna leave it to yall to imagine if they'd end up together or not ; )


End file.
